The place i meant is Casa Cattle, Kundasang. This is a dairy farm which produce one of the local market fresh dairy. It is heralded as “New Zealand” of Sabah

First thought about visiting a cow farm is like “huh?!”. Despite that, the photos look too picturous to be overlooked…

Here is a photo stolen from another blogger:

(credit goes to blog owner of this site http://ibudamia.blogspot.com/2011/01/sabah-desa-cattle-aka-new-zealand-tipu2.html)

Perhaps this could be added to the list of ‘place to visit’ during my next trip?

Since i’ve gotten some time at hand and a new tablet conviniently next to me, what’s better that surfing for some new ideas for my next destination
Ps: for those stuck with ur jobs, kindly not to curse me ;p

I went to Korea back in April this year… Which has be a great trip. So i guess this time around, i should be a bit more conservative in my planning and pick a destination near home.

Last week, i happened to catch some snippets of travelling-guide programs on TLC Astro. And i think i have kindda hav my eye set on Sabah.

Borneo

Sabah, or Borneo.. As the TV commentator likened to refer as, sounds like a pretty interestin place to visit. I’ve been there once around 8 years ago for Mt.Kinabalu. (wow, it has been that long eh? I must have aged!) I could still vividly remember how enjoyable a trip that was.

Back then, i have visited quite a few tourist hotspots… Mt.KK, manukan island, poring hotspring… Just to name a few. But things seems to have changed for the better now. Well, maybe it was the way the TV trying hard to promote it, but it all seems very enticing

The highlights

Here’s some of the highlights i managed to googled.

(1) sapi island sea walking

Having the fun of diving without having the license! (i have a PADI license but it’s been 3 years since my last dive. So for my next dive, i gotta take the refreshment course if i go for another dive)

(2) via ferrata Mt.KK

This is a new addition to the climbers. Via ferrata means `iron road/path`… It is practically a climbing path on the sloppy side of the mount. Climbers will anchor themself to the metalic-wire construction and hang on to their dear life! Haha… Just my kind of adventure! Not for the faint of heart :p but trust me about the view and the experience… U haven’t really lived if u don’t dare yourself for it!

A sneak peak:

Picture from http://leongwk.multiply.com/photos/album/300/Mt_Kinabalu_-_Via_Ferrata_Lows_Peak_Circuit

(3) sipadan… The pirate’s paradise… (excuse me for the joke) Sipadan indeed made headlines after the pirate kidnapping incident (that is certainly not laughing matters though.) However, it is a paradise and it is true to the letters. I couldn’t find another word to descripe it. Look at this pic and u’ll just understand:

And more!

Sabah is also offers a good variety of affortable seafood cuisine, a bountiful cultural encounterance, and more…

The verdict

with sandy beaches, underwater wonders waiting, it is a place hard to missed. Anyway, travelling is never fun without fun ppl around… So who’s coming? Hop on the band-wagon… I’ll get u on the next flight to infinity and beyond

The accident

In short, there was a small margin of error during a lone-drive postcall.  It occurred within seconds. What happened was that I lost focus on the road for a moment. and the next thing i know, the car went off path. The wheels left the tarmac,and quickly converts to a rough landing onto the sandy boulder. Dirt smoked into the air.

I made my best effort to maneuver, only to make things worst.

Soon, i am drifting across the road towards the opposite lane. My arms reacted before my mind did – i gave a strong tuck on the steering and the car went completely out of control.

I let the car swirl and turn on its own. Then, it came crashing onto the side railing, bounced off, swirled, and crashed again.

As it came to a halt, i found myself still strapped to my seat unharmed. The car itself was now situated sideway, blocking halfway across the road. Quickly enough, a loud honk took my attention. I turned and vaguely make out the shape of a lorry came racing towards me. I could not react. Good thing It avoided me just in time and zoomed past…

Regaining myself from the after-shock, i make haste to drive myself out of harms way. Yes, the car still move, even if it’s barely running. It suffered quite a blow.

The Aftermath

Remember how the movie would potray the near-death moment in slow-motion. I think I had mine too… Maybe i am being dramatic, but i think i saw life zoomed past!

And i think it change my outlook at life. Here i am, finding myself value my own life a little more.  I’d stay true to what i want in life. Things that would I hesistate before, they won’t trouble me now… somehow,  I worry less now

” life can be short… now it can be great “

your blogger

你每天工作看到生老病死 什么感想啊?
我看见病人辛苦疼痛或逝世等等都还okay
但是如果看见他们身边的家人朋友为他们感到难过或着不舍得
我的情绪就很受影响
看到他们的家人朋友哭或伤心难过 我就眼眶红红
我不知道自己该如何面对悲伤的家属

a friend recently asked me how did i deal with all the emotions in hospital where sickness and death seems almost ubiquitous.and i told her this:

actually, sometime even i could not hold my tears…
so i told myself, death is but another step in our life
and i told myself, their love one pass-on to a better place… coz God is graceful

actually, it might even get worst. Especially in a institution where resources are limited, and we were force into making decision about other people’s life. No, this is not a world of fairy tale where people live happily ever after. This is reality.

Somewhere along our career, we were made to decide who are worth saving, and who are not. So it boils down to simple fact like old age, too sick, socially not worthy. It will leave u with a bad conscious knowing u could not give them the best care. And it is part and parcel of this title we come to bear. Medicine is for the heart of gold. Unshaken…

Truth to be told, one thing i learned about being “over-zealous” about saving ppl’s life, especially of those whose soul seems too eager to leave us, whom sustained too great of an injury/insult to their body, that it seems to be too difficult to save/salvage. That one thing i learn, is to always think TWICE. No, i not saying that u should think twice about saving a life, but think twice of the consequences u have brought upon with your action.

I have quite a few cases, but i’d mention one or two here. (please note that this is a personal blog. and any controversial topic discussed here shall not be publish elsewhere)

just the end of last year, i had case involving a complicated labour. To make the story short, a lady went into labour in the ambulance with a breech presentation. We had no choice but to perform breech-assisted delivery in ambulance. There’s difficulty delivering the baby head and the baby head got stuck for almost 5 mins. Baby came out flat (no movement, no heartbeat, no sign of life), and i went all out to resuscitate the child (CPR, intubation, adrenaline) , refusing to stop after even 10mins.

and finally i’ve gotten a heartbeat, and soon after, the baby started breathing… frankly speaking, i was so happy, that tear filled my eyes as i thanked God. It was almost a miracle.

little that i know, my “heroic” soon translate into a long ordeal for the child’s family. The child sufferred HIE (a condition cause by prolonged lack of oxygen to brain, causing child to get epilepsy and retarded brain development).

for the next 4 month, the child has been in-and-out of hospital, suffering from severe pneumonia. (because she’d vomit milk after feeding and the milk will flow into the lung coz her throat reflex is not good. )

and in the end, she passed on at the age of 5 month, by the time, she is already a case known “not for active resuscitation”. Due to her condition, her prognosis is poor. The parents had no choice but to bow to reality and accepted the fact that it is better for her to pass on.

So it make me question myself sometimes, if i have not been over-zealous to save the child like in the first place, would it be a better outcome. Instead of having the family endure the pain. Still, deep down, I knew i’d do the same regardless.

the 2nd case involve a story of a 3-month old, who had a car accident. He sustained severe head injury. the skull fractured and it was bleeding into the brain. I resuscitated the child and got back a pulse, only to find the child showing sign of brain death. and i had to let the child go…
All i’m trying to say is: Death, sometime, might not be the worst case scenario.

i still remember this 8 year old girl, who got involved in an accident and fractured her neck. She became paralyzed neck down. She was in my ward for many month. Initially, the father stay by the bed day and night. Then, as time pass, the father had to start working, and he’d come every evening. Soon, it become few times a week. Then once in a while… and it comes to a point where we had to call the father to come. At times, i’d be angry at the father for literally abandoning the child. But knowing the circumstances, i did not commented. In the end, when the child passed away, she has no one by her side… it really sadden me. The world has given up on her before she herself gave up… and i got a little teary.
So i told myself, if my patient passed away and the relative is there to mourn his/her death, i’d not cry anymore. At least, i know he/she passed on being loved.

me? i’m the trouble itself!

Today I’ll be focusing on a quick tutorial to get you start snapping photos by maximizing the ability of the camera. I have with me a Olympus EPL-1 and i’m gonna use it to show u how to use some of the more interesting functions. Along the tutorial, i’ll be using some previous snaps i took. (NOTE: the button may look slightly dissimilar on different models, but the same priciple applies).

MODES

there are 4 important modes which allow us to take very different sets of photos

1. SCN
2. iAuto
3. M (manual)
4. ART

SCN

SCN (Scenic) mode have most of the preset for different situation, so if other modes does turn out good, try use SCN and select from it. Though beginner-proved, i find most photos from this mode is just acceptable quality.

iAuto

iAuto is one of my favourite mode to use. It allows some fine-tuning wihout needing too much control. Most of my photos are taken in this mode. And the most used “option” is the ‘brightness‘ and ‘blur‘ control.

Brightness:

Particularly useful in most scenarios. Giving a quick setting of brightness.

to get to this mode, turn the dial to “iAuto” then press “OK” and the OPTION menus will appear along the right side of the screen.

Click “OK” again, and you will be able to use the “Simple brightness” control. Use the “up” and “down” arrow to adjust brightness accordingly.

At this point, if you press the < left arrow, an “Extended Brightness” control will appear. This will allow finer control like “brighten the dark area” or “darken the bright area”.

Blur:

Useful mostly for my playful macroshots. I’d push the blur to the highest, then focus and snap!

The effect, as shown on this test-shot. A clear object with blur-out background

M (manual)

In low light condition, i would sometime prefer the M mode. This is what the professionals are playing with their DSLR. In this mode, you are allow to change many settings, todays’ focus are: aperture, shutter speed and ISO. These will determine the amount of exposure for the shots. (in simple term, the amount of light captured)

To adjust the settings, turn the dial to “M” mode and press up button. This will allow you to adjust “Aperture” (by moving left and right) and “shutter speed” (by moving up and down). Note that after setting at certain value, you may click to shoot immediately.

(1) Aperture

in order to get a good low-light photo, i recommend to open the aperture by adjusting the F (focal length) to the lowest number. For Olympus 14-42mm lens, that would be F/3.5.

(2) Shutter speed

The shutter speed determines the time we allow the camera to capture the light. The faster the shutter speed, the less time it have to capture the light, hence a dimmer shots. However, at slower speed, the shots will become blurry, because we moves while the camera still trying to capture the light.

For low-light condition, turn the shutter speed to around 1/20 of a second (equal to the value 20). Some people with steady hands can actually go up to 1/8 (value or less. But once your hand shakes, the shots became blurring and unusable.

This sample shot is done with shutter speed of 12 seconds! (with a tripod of course :p) See how much light it captured causing a very bright shot

(3) ISO

ISO can be simply explained as light absorption. The range for this camera is 100 – 3200.

To adjust ISO, turn the dial to “M” mode and click “OK”. Select the ISO option and adjust accordingly.

Ideally, lowest ISO is best! (at higher ISO, more light will be captured, but the shots become “noisy”/ grainy) . I use this to compensate for the amount of light in the room. Usually at low light, ISO 800 – 1250 will be suffice. In broad day-light situation, i’ll stick to 100 – 200 instead.

By this fine tuning, i was able to capture night scene better. And the shot will turn out with better details!

ART

I seldom use ART mode as most of the effect can be added afterward using computer software. So, i’ll just take the shot by focusing on clearness and proper lighting and add on the art filter using photoshop, lightroom or picasa

If any, i’d be using the diorama or dramatic option because it is plain fun

A foggy morning at the hospital. After applying the monochromatic effect, the “feel” of the photo give an air of eeriness

TIP!

1. First tips is to press the capture button half-way in order to focus the object you would like to capture.
2. play with the angles
3. capture the photo like it is your own eye. Candid shot are the best!
4. use “2 seconds delay” shooting mode if you deliberately need to decrease the blurriness due to slow shutter speed.
5. shoot towards light sometimes :p this will give u the Bokeh effect (see photo below)
   
6. be playful! remember the subject you are trying to capture is not only the people, rather the emotion they potray
   few years back, there is a trend to capture jumping shots. And now a new trend called planking, which is rather silly.
   Recently, there is also a surge of people trying to re-create old shots. I think it is rather brilliant
   
7. Shoot video sometimes Olympus is a great camera to shoot video. If you intend for a full documentary, shoot short videos and perhaps you could stitch them into a video slide-show later
8. Fish-eye lens is fun too! if u put it near your head, then the rest of your body will appear shrinked.  (Note: zoom out the lens to see the fish-eye effect)
   Otherwise, if you are taking scenery shots, using a horizontal line to make the fish-eye effect stands out.

last but not least, don’t be too busy shooting! Be part of the event and enjoy the night-out. Don’t hide behind the camera instead of being in-front of it!

In particular, the baby who loves to smile and had the habit of taking a deep breath when one blew air onto his face. (malabsorbtion syndrome)

Then there is the boy who can only count the number 4. (Eventration of diaphragm)

Then the boy who smile and say ‘hi’ to doctor eventhough he is literally out of breath.
(pneumonia)

The girl who stop crying when I sing ‘you’ve got a friend in me’. (hyperactive airway disease)

The boy who remind me of cookie monster
(pierre-robin syndrome)

The girl who like to scratch her backside. (barter syndrome)

The boy who want the precise piece of his Nasi himpit size covered with even spread of peanut gravy. (steroid resistant nephrotic syndrome)

The boy who can still eat chipsmore cookies while having his iv line inserted. (acute lymphoblastic leukemia)

They will all be part of my treasured memories who got me through this hectic department.

i was studying there for a good 6 year. the 6 years that made me now a half-blood moscovites. i was pretty attached to the place, i must say. I met few of the wonderful ppl i became friend wif. Part of me grows there.

when i saw this picture on The Moscow Times this morning, i couldnot held back the sadness i felt for the loss of victims’ families and Moscow itself. It is such sadness that could not be contained within anymore. The photographer captured the emotion so well with his lens.

I pray silently for those lives lost.

they dont have a clock in the ward. I was placed in a 2-person room specially reserved for staff member who got sick. Apparently, i was the only inhibitant for the whole 3 days. time was something that seems most inconsistant. the only ‘time’ i remember is between the wakes from the pain, the jabs then the nauseating episodes of vomit and then, it is back to slumber.

nurses came in every once in a while. every so often, they will stop by to check my vitals. they do appear to come in intervals. mostly on time. sometimes they are late. but it never bothers me. In fact, the short conversation was the one thing that kept me from fading away.

my regular heart rate is about 45-55. it is not normal by medical book standards. most people have a heart rate of 70-80. Mine was less by some reason, but it was normal. (i had it check out when i was in med-school).

most of the time the nurses will be alerted with the number the see on the screen :”45?” “are u okay doctor?”… i would explain to them it is my normal heart rate. they would turn away with some disbelieve on their face, but otherwise, woud proceed with their other errents.

The funny part is, when i was in great pain. My heart rate will rise to somewhere around 80. That is a whooping 30+ difference from my baseline. (it is normal to have heart rate increasing in reflex to pain stimuli) And the nurses will give a big smile and say “well, all is normal!”.

Obviously, it is not normal. cant they read the subtle grimmace on my face? the body language telling them otherwise? Usually, i would bother and just order for another jab of IV.Tramadol. IM just wont cut it for me.

The worst part of the jab is the after-effect. Soon, a swirling sensation will spin in my head. Coupled with the pain i am already in, sweat will breaks on my forehead. For a brief moment, i can hear my breathing gets rather heavy…Then, came the gushing wave of vomitus. If you wonder what it was like. It is like getting your gut turned insde-out…

soon, everything will settled in the burred out ways and i will return the long slumber i was in, before i get woken up by another pain attack.

Pain from a renal colic is excruciating. Those who didnt know will never knows. If you want me to put it into words, then i’d describe it as the sensation worst then being kicked in the balls. (please dont mind my language). The bastard just wont give it to rest. It will keep hiting you again and again until you give in.

In medicine, we usually rate our pain from 1-10. that is what we call a “pain score”. one being the least painful, and then 10 is like when u get a heart attack. Pain from renal colic could go up to 8 by my standard. Usually, i could handle pain score 2-3 (which is somewhere between mild and moderate). But when it hit pain score 4-5, that is where it gets tricky. Your mind will start asking question wether the pain will reduce back to score 2-3 or will be became more violent, hitting score 7-8.

The logic is, one would want the jab before the pain becomes too much to handle. So, i’d have to decide FAST. The reason simply being (1) it takes some time for the medicine to work (2) It also take MUCH time for the nurses to come, to prepare the jab… until you “finally” gets the jab.

To call the nurse, they designed the “nurse buzzer”. Well, i dont really know what it is really called, but it is the very button u pushed to get the nurse in. They made it conveniently close to the bed where u can just reach out and press it swiftly. However, no matter how close it was within reach, it usually took my a good few minutes to press it.

the dillema to press the buzzer, is that u wont know for sure if the pain in getting worse or better. so, like most sane people , i’d to wait it out, and decide if it is REALLY getting worse?

…. and if i have one good tip from this whole hospital ordeal, it is this: NEVER HESSITATE to push that button. Stop being a thickhead and think you’re tough, the pain will ONLY get worse!

after seemingly endless cycle of waking up-and sleeping, i finally got well enough, to be able to push myself up beyond the boundary of the perimeter of the bed, and let in the sun and refreshing breeze.

And apparently, after the long-standing pain, the stone finally trickled down my ureter and now resting just a few milimeter from my bladder. The surgeon decided i wouldnt need to go under the knife. Rather, he would have me wait for the kidney stone to be flushed out from my system the “natural” way.

So, off i go, being kicked out of hospital before actually being healed.

# special thanks to Dr.Dar of Hospital Tengku Ampuan Afzan, who had troubled himself in order to helped me locating the nature of the illness. He had shown kindness and efficiency in his work, and it meant a lot for me.

i went for “Alice in the wonderland” yesterday. watched it alone. it is a nice movie. i laughed a lot. but now that i think of it, i’d rather to have someone to laughed together with :/

hahah, i think midlife crisis must be catching upon me.

dear friends, wherever u may be… i do miss u